whats going on

hey guyz
so anyway, my dad bought me a new phone.
like he can just buy his way out of it.
i cant even look at him the same anymore.
my mom told me to try and be nice to him.
that he's panicking that hes gonna lose his family.
so at least he still wants something to do with us.
but im still having a hard time looking at him, let alone talkiing to him.
my little brothers dont know yet.
im not sure i want them to.
i havent told any of my friends, cuz im afraid im gonna start crying.
i wish i didnt know.
i wouldve been better off knowing later than earlier.
ive been writing alot.
it eases the pain, takes my mind off of whats going on.
my mom's really worried about me.
she made me an appointment with a... counselor i guess???
i dunno
i keep faking smiles and acting like im over it.
shes not buying it.
well i tried...

~Kai

Because of you

well, my cousin is stayin with us for a few weeks,
she got here a couple days ago.
today we decided to go to sonic,
i was gonna rollerblade and she was gonna bike there.
but the tires were flat
i told her to go ask my dad for a bike pump
she was like "ummm..... lets just look for it a bit more"
we still couldnt find it,
so she decided to just walk.
when we got there, we paid for our food. when we were eating, she didnt talk much.
she sorta looked sad and nervous.
when we were goin back, my cousin was walkin pretty slow,
like she was tryin to keep me there as long as possible.
i was a lil frustrated when she did, cuz i wanted to get home,
but when i got home, i regretted that instantly.
my mom walked out from her bedroom,
and then she told me everything.



******** long story short, my dad's not sleeping there tonight.
or any night.




they are getting a divorce,
i dont wanna go into all of the details,
but its happening.
i havent smiled once since she told me.

~ Kai